Wednesday's contemplations
Published by Bhavana under on 11:58 PM
It's hard to describe my life right now. It seems so dark and hidey-holey (psh that so makes sense, shush. tehe) Yet there are bits of it that shine. Parts of my life seem perfect. I have an amazing who loves me, even in his emails I can feel his warmth. I sit at my computer alone and feeling lonely look down at the big woolly socks M bought me and feel near giddy with pleasure. That to me is love. But oh there are parts of me that are so unsatisfied with my life. My job is frustrating lately, money troubles have got me down, and i want to move. i feel listless, restless. i'm not good at being happy and settled. i've always got to mix it up. move about. gypsy blood is egging me on. i can't decide if i want to scream or hide in bed forever. Now this is an established pattern for me and I need to learn how to get around it this time with minimal casualties. I blew of a massage and an interview today because I'd rather be asleep. Last time this happened I got in serious trouble at work and the time before that I spent two weeks in bed and dropped out of university. So this really needs to be nipped in the bud. Maybe my new man will help me out. fingers crossed.
2 comments:
Ohhh, I'm sorry you're feeling bleh. I know what it's like to try to keep your head above water when that depressing/melancoly/don't want to deal with it, feeling hits.
Just try to stay one step ahead of it. You don't have to accomplish everything in one day. If there are parts of your life you wish to change or rearrange...go for it. But one step at a time. I know that's what works for me. (as someone who's moved 11 times in the past 11 years trying to make everything right).
I'm sure the new man will help. It's an opportunity for starting over with yourself.
thanks a ton. it'll get there.b ut you've got it right when speak of opportunity. that's a better way to look at it. phew just gotta keep going and not get lost. :D
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