why oh why?

I let him in. I happily gave him the amunition. I gave him the power to hurt me. i practically told him what words would hurt the most. not again. screw it. i was meant to be a spinster, a maid in a garrett. i can not imagine ever letting another person that close to my heart ever again. how can one person be so cruel and spiteful to another? i don't understand why people lash out at others in their moments of pain. that's when we should be best at loving another, at being kind because we know the pain.

well fuck him. i take it back. you don't have the power to hurt me anymore. i am me. and you can't touch me. my heart is safe, even if that does mean locked away. you are no longer able to hurt me. i wont let you anymore. bastard.