Is it bad to feel ... uncertain of how you feel? I pride myself on being fairly self-aware. I try very hard to cultivate a mind-body awareness and to teach it to my students. But lately, man do i ever feel out of touch. I don't even have the impetus to even try to meditate. I know it will probably help and I'll feel better for having tried but I feel weighted down. I sincerely hope that it's not depression rearing it's ugly head again. I think I'll make an appointment to have my meds evaluated. But somehow I feel it may be different. I am confused with my own emotions. Do i love my job or do i dread it? Which man does my heart tell me to go after? I have no clue and I think that makes it worse. It makes me sad. Maybe one day .. hopefully someday soon I'll figure out what my heart wants. Cus damn it I would really like to know.
confusion, emotions, men on 10:09 PM
It's hard to believe it's mid september. The days go by so quickly. Life has been very overwhelming lately. I've taken the past few days off to stave off a cold and try and get things into perspective. And actually writing that i just realized I have laundry in the wash that I completely forgot about. I swear lately I have no memory. It's as if my friends' placenta brain is catching. I bought a planner/daily organizer. Never before have i needed one and now i even forget to write things down so i can remember them later. Hopefully fall will help with a new beginning. Clear out the cobwebs. Fall is all about destruction as change. Crisp cool winds blowing away the old. Hopefully it blows out the cotton between my ears.