No I did not die

Published by Bhavana under on 4:20 PM
Shocking I know. I've been insanely busy! So here is my update.
1)My boyfriend has moved in with me. In august we are moving from Ontario to British Columbia. And we are planning on getting married!
2)I have a new job. I do technical support for a long distance telephone company. I was just up for a management position but got passed over for someone in the 'cool group'. My work place is like high school. SO MUCH DRAMA! I also work 45 hrs. a week plus i usually work overtime.
3) I have no life. And from this point on I am going to have one or I'm a monkey's uncle b/c I NEED it. My birhtday is coming up so I'm planning a casino themed party. I've never been one for birthdays but this year I said screw it ... lets do it up! and so I will.

And that is my 5 second update. I promise that from now on I will be around more. I miss you guys!

Craziness in the Nation's Capital

Published by Bhavana under , , on 12:28 PM
There have been some pretty crazy developments here lately.
First of all we had an insane winter storm yesterday and overnight last night. We got about 40-50 cm of snow (15-20 inches), freezing rain, hail, oh and it felt like -22 with the windchill! That's about -8 Fahrenheit. So it was not fun to say the least. Well we will sure be having a white christmas this year.
Secondly OC Transpo, our public bus system, went on strike. So I'm home from work today. I have adds on a million carpooling websites. But the problem is that there are tons of people wanting drives but very few offering. I might have a few options for thursday and friday. Or I might be sitting at home making no money. There is no way I can walk or take a cab ... it would be at least $25 one way. Also I can't drive and our family car's transmission is dead.
Some background info on why this strike is even worse than the above mentioned reasons. Yesterday I quit my job. But, and that's a mighty big but, I don't have a job to go to. I have some prospects but nothing for sure. I just could not deal with the debilitating stress anymore. So with the bus strike. I don't have a way into work which means I don't get paid coming up to christmas and a soon to be jobless period. I also can't go apply to jobs or get to interviews without the buses. So I'm stuck at home stewing on how much this sucks right now.

Cross your fingers that the city and the transit union come to their egotistical, greedy senses and solve this problem asap!

New Beginnings...

Published by Bhavana under , , on 10:47 PM

I hope. I had a job interview to be a manager in training at a local gym. She said I should hear from her by Monday. It seems like the perfect job! I really really hope i get it. It would be a hell of a lot better than the place I am now. There would actually be a possibility of a raise! or a promotion. So I'm crossing my fingers and living in anticipation till i hear back. eek!

On another happy note my best girlfriend 'C' and I had a dinner and a movie date tonight. We went to see Twilight. It's soooo good :) I had read the book awhile ago (before all the crazy hype) and really enjoyed it. Writing was maybe a bit lacking but her storytelling was excellent. I think they did a really good job of making the movie. I was really impressed with the cinematography and the music. They played Ben Harper and Iron & Wine. I was practically giddy with excitement over the Iron & Wine :) Yay for Indie music making it big! Devendra Banhart's Lover was practically the theme song for Nick & Norah's infinite playlist. My girl friend got pissed b/c i was singing along in the theatre. tehe

Sam Beam aka Iron & Wine on the left and Devendra Banhart on the right.
Have I mentioned I TOTALLY have thing for long-haired bearded men? lol.

Published by Bhavana under on 10:23 PM

Life is so damn confusing lately. I don't know what I want or what I should want. I feel a lot of frustration lately and that in and of itself makes me feel guilty. I've been having a fair number of health concerns of late. Nothing serious individually but when you add up all the little things it certainly feels like my body is betraying me. It's really hard for me to feel that way. I've always been very connected to my physical body ... it's frustrating to not be able to fix it all instantly. Also living with anxiety and depression makes the motivation to get up and fix things hard to come by. I would much rather sleep an extra 30 minutes in the morning than get up and make myself proper food and do yoga. Which if course makes me feel guilty. People are right when they talk about vicious circles.

On top of feeling unhealthy I am also fairly unhappy at work. I had another girl quit so now I am literally the only admin staff member as well as the only full time yoga teacher. It makes me want to pull all my hair out! I should mention i make a whopping $11 an hour so i definitely fall below the poverty line while trying to manage a business i have no authority over. Talk about frustration! I desperately want to quit but am having trouble finding the courage.

So this is my new prayer ... my new quest. Courage. where do people find the courage to stand up and be honest with themselves. where do i find the courage to be truthful to myself?

We're from the country and we like it that way

Published by Bhavana under , on 10:53 PM
I'm from our good Nation's Capital and I like it that way. My Grease Monkey recently got transferred to London, Ontario and it sucks ass! It was very sudden and very much in the realm of getting screwed over. I highly doubt it followed any labour laws. He went down for a meeting with his District Manager about possibly moving down if he couldn't find a place to live. They informed him that he started the next day, granted he got a promotion out of it. But I still HATE it! I miss him so much. We've decided that there is no chance of us breaking up over it. He's going to find a way to come back. One of our options was me moving to London. But I just can't do it. We toyed with the idea of moving to BC. I'd prefer that option to London but I still don't know if I can do it. All of my family and friends are here. People make up such a huge part of my life .. I'm afraid I would feel too isolated. I feel a bit guilty for making him do all the moving about for me. Ottawa is my city, it's isn't hisOur sorta-solution?
Behold my first attempts to figure out how to use it ;)

Worked out pretty good me thinks! Now how to master actual videos. haha :D wish me luck in tech land peoples .. i'm outa my depth here.

WInter in October

Published by Bhavana under on 11:21 PM
We had a crazy storm last night. First Storm of winter! .. it's only October y'all! ahhh! we got between 15 and 30 cm ... approx 2 inches. Man was it cold and blustery on my way to work this morning. It reminds me of my childhood. When Halloween costumes were made big enough to fit over snow suits. We lived out in the country so we drove from house to house to Trick or Treat. I can remember the pop cans rolling around in the back seat of the car. Can you believe people used to give out cans of pop?! Can I have summer back? I miss the warmth terribly. But on the bright side I loooooove Halloween! woo hoo! best holiday ever!

Sensitive to Cussing? well don't read this post baby

Published by Bhavana under on 11:30 PM
This past weekend/week has been one giant cluster fuck from the universe! And not just for me either! It's been madness. Firstly Grease Monkey's roommate is a bitch and decided to give him the boot so we've been in a mad panic to find him an apartment in about 2 weeks. It didn't happen but he does have a place to stay for a month. Hopefully we can find him something by then. Otherwise he's moving to B.C. which I can not handle right now. I finally find a good man, the universe can not be that cruel. I refuse to allow it (cus clearly the universe does exactly what i tell it to)

My work friends have been equally fucked up the ass recently. First on saturday D got pulled over on her way in. She was driving on a suspended license (because she had to get to work to pay the damn fines) so she got in hot water and I had to cancel her appointments for the morning. Trust me massage clients aren't happy when they get to their appointment and their therapist isn't there. She might be very well royally screwed and loose her license ... meaning she can't work and we loose business because we are already under staffed.

Then today C got into a car accident with his girlfriend. So he's obviously shaken up and was not at work. Oh and R quit on Friday night so I have to pick up the slack. I'll have to take her Monday night class and work till 9pm. Plus Fridays I'll now be the only admin staff all day working 11-6 ish. oy!

See cluster fuck! arrrggggg