Dasein - being or existence in the german.

German philosophers have been struggling with this term Dasein. being. what is being? existence? 'i think therefore i am'? really? i don't know about that. what is thinking? is it the hallmark of sentience or is it being self-aware? my rose is alive but does it think? i have no idea actually. just because it is plant doesn't mean it isn't plant life. or that our definition of thought is accurate. my rose could very well be planning universal domination but i would never know. what is this state of being in which we live? In Hinduism we believe that absolutely everything in connected, is the same, because everything has a piece of god (Brahman) in it [this piece of god in us is called Atman or the soul in lay-man's terms]. When we die 'we,' our Atman, is united with Brahman. What we identify as 'me,' our ego, is just the device through which the Atman experiences life. But what is this life? Is it possible that Brahman experiences other forms of life that we cannot even comprehend in other realities? AHHH too many questions! haha to be certain we can never really know all the answers but we can know what we believe.

It snowed today. Finally. It's mid november already. I remember Halloween's as a kid being bundled into snowsuits because it was cold and snowing. But now, oh now, we are praying for white christmases. Talk about global warming. Now I know it's a hot topic right now but it needs to be addressed. People are jumping on the 'green' bandwagon left and right. There is a part of me jumping for joy at this yelling 'Yay! Finally!' at the top of my lungs. But there is a tiny part that says 'fakers' I kinda liked being the wacky tree-hugger pulling out the canvas bags at the grocery store. I actually like being different and slightly oddball. Now all we need is to get the people to actually understand the 'green' thing and not just jump on because it's the cool thing to do. We need to get them to actually mean it and commit. Yeah the little things are important but in the grand scheme of things Harper not being a dickwad Bush-a-like and actually putting money towards the environment would go alot further than not using plastic bags. Yes we all MUST do our part but the government needs to step up. Stop selling our water, stop cutting down old-growth forest, commit to ethanol, fucking do something already. As you have probably noticed this subject gets me miffed ... and out comes the sailor. arg!

New life [spring 07]

I have so many thoughts whirling around in this tiny head of mine. There are so many things I could write about. Selfishness versus selflessness. new found love. the benefits of self-discovery. the awe of dance. Yet i have absolutely no desire to put pen to paper (or finger to keys) Maybe it's being vulnerable. Talking about something that matters requires a great deal of strength. And that is something I have been sorely lacking lately. I feel devoid of my inner strength. It's hiding and I want it to come back. My bravery is gone away and I am sad from missing it. Were is the strong, proud woman that I was once? What scarred her away?

Today is just one of those days. Work just seemed to drag along. Today is one of those days when I really just want to be alone. Or cuddled by my honey ... with NO talking. Right now I wish I lived alone. In a cottage with a nice view of the lake. So I could cuddle-up in a cushy arm chair with some tea and crochet. All by my lonesome. It's always the days when you feel uncomfortable and have that slightly creppy .... mmm crepes ... i actually meant creepy there ... crawly feeling under your skin that stretch out interminably. Today 'symphonic metal' aka operatic heavy metal fits my moods delightfully. Check out Epica if your interested. Otherwise I'm going to back to my lonely crocheting and I'm going to enjoy gosh darn it!

A day of sombre faces and memories, of red felt poppies and tears. A day to honour. But most of all a day to remember those that came before. Those that came and fell.
Remembrance day always makes me think of my Poppy. He did not fight but he trained those that did go over to fight in WWII. I miss him. I love to look at the pictures of our family dressed in their army best. My grandpa, my poppy, uncle kev, uncle bill, uncle teddy. Our family has a proud army history. Though I may be against the wars I still whole heartedly support our troops. In this morning's ceremony on Parliament Hill Rabbi Bulka made an amazing speech. He put it so eloquently that everyone applauded. 'We love our troops' he said. And we do, and we should. Did they not fight for us? For our freedom? To hold up ideals that were not our obligation but our desire to uphold? On this day I Remember and I am thankful to live in Canada.

During my Satsang last night the facilitator asked the group a very interesting question. What is Freedom to you? It was fascinating listening to other people's ideas of what freedom is. Some people mentioned freedom of choice. Others brought up freedom from judgement, both from others and from oneself. Freedom to some is a very tangible thing. Freedom to be yourself, to choose, to do as you will.

When this question was posed my immediate thoughts went to meditation. That brief moment when you are actually meditating and all thoughts have disappeared. Your soul and atman have been temporarily freed from their container. That also brought me to think of my idea of ultimate freedom: union with Brahman. The one yoga sutra that sticks in my mind particularly well is that 'yoga is the stilling of the thought-waves of the mind.' And this stilling of the mind is freedom for me. Being able to leave psychological time, anxieties, worries, thoughts behind.

I'm curious, what do you all think? What does freedom mean to you?

Usually Fridays are spent at work ... aaalll day long. But today it was errand day. I had to go into work to sub a class but otherwise the day was all mine. *sigh* felt so good :) I finally got myself a bus pass so I don't have to get tickets to get to work. It will make busing much more economical. I went shopping for work clothes. After a year of taking time off for school I was surprised to find all of my work appropriate clothes disappeared. What did I wear before? Apparently one pair of black pants. oh well. uh yeah that's my exciting day for today. no amazing life affirming epiphanies. just life.

Before my thursday music-a-thon post I thought I'd tell you all whats up in the life of me. The computer is on the fritz so I'm currently using my semi-working laptop and stolen wireless (I feel bad but if you don't secure your network...). Work is busy as usual. Tonight's class went well and I feel pretty good about it. Last thursday I wiped out and my knee is still purple. Sometimes I can be real klutzy. I finally have a social life; for once in my life I have people to see and things to do. Life is moving along at a good pace. Much of my life has felt like a waiting game or as if I've been in limbo. But now, oh now, I have a life, actual and whole.

So to start my Thursday Music-a-thon I present .....

Jolie Holland http://www.jolieholland.com or http://www.myspace.com/jolieholland

Jolie Holland has a very unique sound. It can be rather difficult to describe. A mix of blues, folk, americana and a heck of a lot more. For some reason it makes me yearn for Tennessee during prohibition, don't ask me why though. If I had any sort of vocal talent I would want to make music like Ms.Holland. The music also evokes images in your mind (there is a specific word for that but I can't figure it out, it's on the tip of my tongue and is driving me crazy) All in all it is gorgeous stuff. so go have a listen.