It's so funny. I had so much planned to say but then i finally get to sit down to write and the big blank white screen scares away all of my ideas. But since all of my fantabulous ideas have flown away I guess I'll just tell y'all about my weekend. Which was great. I worked Saturday as per usual and then we went to M's staff christmas party. It was great though he works at a gym so you can imagine the guys he works with. Then Sunday was at my parents' place. The 4 of us decorated the tree and made a gingerbread house. It was the perfect pre-christmas weekend. I even kind of enjoyed the huge snow storm we had. There is so much snow here! There are some snow drifts that are knee deep. We had to dig out 2 cars on sunday. Plows are still out on Monday night getting rid of all the snow. Pictures will be coming, I just have to get batteries for the camera. I got some awesome shots of the snow ... and our super awesome gingerbread house of course.

It's hard to describe my life right now. It seems so dark and hidey-holey (psh that so makes sense, shush. tehe) Yet there are bits of it that shine. Parts of my life seem perfect. I have an amazing who loves me, even in his emails I can feel his warmth. I sit at my computer alone and feeling lonely look down at the big woolly socks M bought me and feel near giddy with pleasure. That to me is love. But oh there are parts of me that are so unsatisfied with my life. My job is frustrating lately, money troubles have got me down, and i want to move. i feel listless, restless. i'm not good at being happy and settled. i've always got to mix it up. move about. gypsy blood is egging me on. i can't decide if i want to scream or hide in bed forever. Now this is an established pattern for me and I need to learn how to get around it this time with minimal casualties. I blew of a massage and an interview today because I'd rather be asleep. Last time this happened I got in serious trouble at work and the time before that I spent two weeks in bed and dropped out of university. So this really needs to be nipped in the bud. Maybe my new man will help me out. fingers crossed.

I have a totally random confession to make .... I am addicted to LL Bean. Seriously. I live in Canada but totally want to move to New England just so I can wear all LL Bean and use the fun gadgets. I also become ridiculously excited when the catalogues come in the mail. And they come alot. One even had a fleece fabric swatch! Also my grandmother and I apparently share the same odd love of the LL Bean catalogue. oh man. My Nanny people! I feel like i belong in a cabin with a bottle tree, a shotgun, and lots of cats. That sounds rather appealing actually. Well minus the shotgun but a broom to shoo 'youngins' will do nicely.

please not this is not my picture ... all hail the google image search

Today is just a day, in a long line of days. And I am finally living those days at least partially in the present. Because of course being totally 'present' is very hard. But I'm trying. And it's going well. So I figured it was time for a little update. What exactly has bhavana been doing to keep her away from blogging? Well blizzards for one. We have soooooo much snow and it's supposed to be our coldest winter in 15 years. yikes! I'm now teaching 6 classes a week. 6 can you believe it?! And of course there is finding time to spend with M and do house work. Not to mention trying to fit some sort of creative pursuit in there somewhere. It's December! And that means Christmas. I've already started shopping. I usually don't start until about the 15th and am always rushing about. I guess all this snow is really getting me into the xmas spirit, and that is just fine by me. *phew* I feel like that was a bit of verbal diarrhea, one long run on sentence that needed to just get out of me. so now you know and my 'i haven't posted a blog' guilt has been assuaged. kidding. sort of.

Dasein - being or existence in the german.

German philosophers have been struggling with this term Dasein. being. what is being? existence? 'i think therefore i am'? really? i don't know about that. what is thinking? is it the hallmark of sentience or is it being self-aware? my rose is alive but does it think? i have no idea actually. just because it is plant doesn't mean it isn't plant life. or that our definition of thought is accurate. my rose could very well be planning universal domination but i would never know. what is this state of being in which we live? In Hinduism we believe that absolutely everything in connected, is the same, because everything has a piece of god (Brahman) in it [this piece of god in us is called Atman or the soul in lay-man's terms]. When we die 'we,' our Atman, is united with Brahman. What we identify as 'me,' our ego, is just the device through which the Atman experiences life. But what is this life? Is it possible that Brahman experiences other forms of life that we cannot even comprehend in other realities? AHHH too many questions! haha to be certain we can never really know all the answers but we can know what we believe.

It snowed today. Finally. It's mid november already. I remember Halloween's as a kid being bundled into snowsuits because it was cold and snowing. But now, oh now, we are praying for white christmases. Talk about global warming. Now I know it's a hot topic right now but it needs to be addressed. People are jumping on the 'green' bandwagon left and right. There is a part of me jumping for joy at this yelling 'Yay! Finally!' at the top of my lungs. But there is a tiny part that says 'fakers' I kinda liked being the wacky tree-hugger pulling out the canvas bags at the grocery store. I actually like being different and slightly oddball. Now all we need is to get the people to actually understand the 'green' thing and not just jump on because it's the cool thing to do. We need to get them to actually mean it and commit. Yeah the little things are important but in the grand scheme of things Harper not being a dickwad Bush-a-like and actually putting money towards the environment would go alot further than not using plastic bags. Yes we all MUST do our part but the government needs to step up. Stop selling our water, stop cutting down old-growth forest, commit to ethanol, fucking do something already. As you have probably noticed this subject gets me miffed ... and out comes the sailor. arg!

New life [spring 07]

I have so many thoughts whirling around in this tiny head of mine. There are so many things I could write about. Selfishness versus selflessness. new found love. the benefits of self-discovery. the awe of dance. Yet i have absolutely no desire to put pen to paper (or finger to keys) Maybe it's being vulnerable. Talking about something that matters requires a great deal of strength. And that is something I have been sorely lacking lately. I feel devoid of my inner strength. It's hiding and I want it to come back. My bravery is gone away and I am sad from missing it. Were is the strong, proud woman that I was once? What scarred her away?

Today is just one of those days. Work just seemed to drag along. Today is one of those days when I really just want to be alone. Or cuddled by my honey ... with NO talking. Right now I wish I lived alone. In a cottage with a nice view of the lake. So I could cuddle-up in a cushy arm chair with some tea and crochet. All by my lonesome. It's always the days when you feel uncomfortable and have that slightly creppy .... mmm crepes ... i actually meant creepy there ... crawly feeling under your skin that stretch out interminably. Today 'symphonic metal' aka operatic heavy metal fits my moods delightfully. Check out Epica if your interested. Otherwise I'm going to back to my lonely crocheting and I'm going to enjoy gosh darn it!

A day of sombre faces and memories, of red felt poppies and tears. A day to honour. But most of all a day to remember those that came before. Those that came and fell.
Remembrance day always makes me think of my Poppy. He did not fight but he trained those that did go over to fight in WWII. I miss him. I love to look at the pictures of our family dressed in their army best. My grandpa, my poppy, uncle kev, uncle bill, uncle teddy. Our family has a proud army history. Though I may be against the wars I still whole heartedly support our troops. In this morning's ceremony on Parliament Hill Rabbi Bulka made an amazing speech. He put it so eloquently that everyone applauded. 'We love our troops' he said. And we do, and we should. Did they not fight for us? For our freedom? To hold up ideals that were not our obligation but our desire to uphold? On this day I Remember and I am thankful to live in Canada.

During my Satsang last night the facilitator asked the group a very interesting question. What is Freedom to you? It was fascinating listening to other people's ideas of what freedom is. Some people mentioned freedom of choice. Others brought up freedom from judgement, both from others and from oneself. Freedom to some is a very tangible thing. Freedom to be yourself, to choose, to do as you will.

When this question was posed my immediate thoughts went to meditation. That brief moment when you are actually meditating and all thoughts have disappeared. Your soul and atman have been temporarily freed from their container. That also brought me to think of my idea of ultimate freedom: union with Brahman. The one yoga sutra that sticks in my mind particularly well is that 'yoga is the stilling of the thought-waves of the mind.' And this stilling of the mind is freedom for me. Being able to leave psychological time, anxieties, worries, thoughts behind.

I'm curious, what do you all think? What does freedom mean to you?

Usually Fridays are spent at work ... aaalll day long. But today it was errand day. I had to go into work to sub a class but otherwise the day was all mine. *sigh* felt so good :) I finally got myself a bus pass so I don't have to get tickets to get to work. It will make busing much more economical. I went shopping for work clothes. After a year of taking time off for school I was surprised to find all of my work appropriate clothes disappeared. What did I wear before? Apparently one pair of black pants. oh well. uh yeah that's my exciting day for today. no amazing life affirming epiphanies. just life.

Before my thursday music-a-thon post I thought I'd tell you all whats up in the life of me. The computer is on the fritz so I'm currently using my semi-working laptop and stolen wireless (I feel bad but if you don't secure your network...). Work is busy as usual. Tonight's class went well and I feel pretty good about it. Last thursday I wiped out and my knee is still purple. Sometimes I can be real klutzy. I finally have a social life; for once in my life I have people to see and things to do. Life is moving along at a good pace. Much of my life has felt like a waiting game or as if I've been in limbo. But now, oh now, I have a life, actual and whole.

So to start my Thursday Music-a-thon I present .....

Jolie Holland http://www.jolieholland.com or http://www.myspace.com/jolieholland

Jolie Holland has a very unique sound. It can be rather difficult to describe. A mix of blues, folk, americana and a heck of a lot more. For some reason it makes me yearn for Tennessee during prohibition, don't ask me why though. If I had any sort of vocal talent I would want to make music like Ms.Holland. The music also evokes images in your mind (there is a specific word for that but I can't figure it out, it's on the tip of my tongue and is driving me crazy) All in all it is gorgeous stuff. so go have a listen.

My life is crazy, crazy i tell ya! It seems like I'm always on the go lately. From work to play its all so much. It would be nice to have two days off in a row instead of spread throughout the week. It seems like it takes me so long to wind down lately. I suppose more meditation is in order. Wow okay this going to be a really short post but the words just aren't flowing tonight. ah well, there's always tomorrow.

So Wednesdays are my day off from work and they are usually pretty mellow. I slept in untill noon today! I feel like a terrible person. Okay not really but I can't sleep now. A friend a haven't seen in months called to see if I wanted to go shopping and to catch up. Of course I want to shop! and no I don't want to buy anything. So basically we went to all the fancy dress stores at the local mall and tried on ballgowns. Glitter and polkadots (i love polkadots) and lace and glam! Oh My! I was in heaven. Except for even the dresses in the petites store were too big. The little russian seamstress lady said that I needed work. I laughed (once we left of course) because I couldn't help but love her. To *S* she says 'you, beautiful' then turns to me and says 'you, you need work' It kills me! Except when I think about how the god-damned smallest size in a petite store doesn't fit me. Stupid genetics. But it was so much fun trying on ankle-length white gowns (i looked like a creepifying dead princess) and the knee-length sparkly affair (i just looked like a slutty disco-ball) I love being a girl .. even as adults we get to play dress-up :D

Ya'll are super lucky you get two blogs in one day! Mostly because I'm home all alone today while everybody is at work and I just have to rant. I hate the newspaper. Most of the time at least. I live in Canada's capital, you'd think we would have at least a decent newspaper. Reading today's Ottawa Citizen made me want to cry tears of frustration. First of all the sports section should not come before the actual news 'city' section. I don't give a crap about sports and i'm sure the people who do would be willing to find the section at the back of the paper like in every other respectable newspaper. But my biggest issue is with the 'arts' section. I counted the # of articles and got a whopping 7 articles! For a 6 page section no less. Also I don't think the top movies at the box office or the shameless 'watch this tv program' plug count as art so please change the count of articles to 5. WTF!?!?!! That's disgusting. Are you telling me that a city with the National Arts Centre and over 5 museums plus the National Art Gallery of Canada can only find 5 news worthy arts articles? The comics and Dear Abbey are not art, neither are the 3 pages of adds. The Ottawa Sun, which is our city's half news, half tabloid paper has a better art section. oy! The Capital of Canada should have a better newspaper than that; we should at least be on par with the Toronto Star if not The New York Times. arg!!!

phew okay I'm done now .. not any happier but finished with the rant .. for now.

Oh how I love to read so .... This is a book meme (woo hoo!) from the very fabulous Deb at http://debrichardson.com/blog/

1. Hardcover or Paperback, and why?
Hardcover for the most part. They feel so genuine. They give a very satisfied feel when you read them. They have a nice weight in your hands. And they look so beautiful up on the bookshelf.

2. If I were to own a bookshop I would call it...
This is a dream of mine. To own a second-hand and rare bookshop. At this point in time (it may very well change) I think I would call it 'The Book Caravan'

3.My Favourite quote from a book is
"I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry" Elizabeth Bennett To Mr. Darcy. Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen

4.The author (alive or deceased) I would love to have lunch with is
Shakespeare. I'm dying to ask him if he really wrote all those amazing plays and to ask if he knew Chaucer.

5.If I was going to a deserted island and could only bring one book, except from the SAS survival guide, it would be
Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy ... all in one book of course.

6. I would love someone to invent a bookish gadget that...
Gets rid of the need for bookmarks. I can never find one when I need it so most of my books are marked with scraps of paper or receipts. I've even used hair elastics and bracelets before.

7. The smell of an old book reminds me of…
Well it doesn't necessarily remind me of anything in particular except for libraries and university but it does give me a most immense sense of well being and love. Book smell is the best smell ever.

8. If I could be the lead character in a book (mention the title), it would be…
I hate to be boring but Elizabeth Bennett from Pride & Prejudice. I can't help but be totally enamored of that woman. I also would love to be Morgaine from The Mists of Avalon

9. The most overestimated book of all time is…
Without a doubt Wuthering Heights. I don't get why people like that book let alone read it at all. It's positively terrible, I can't stand the bloody thing

10. I hate it when a book…
Ends before I think it should. If I love a book I want as much information as possible about what happens after the conflict resolution. I hate it when they just end and you want the story to continue.

Hope you liked it. Everyone and anyone should do this meme, just tell me cus I want to read your answers :)

There are times when it feels like your entire day has been run on one breath. And by the time you get to the end of the day you are seriously oxygen depleted. The day just never ends. And by the time you have some spare moments to relax you are already looking forward to the next day. When this happens I always try to make a concerted effort to slow down and take some deep breaths. But to be honest that is really hard. Often times the entire day has passed by before I've caught myself becoming one long run-on sentence. What it all boils down to is an excerise in self-awarness. And that is one hard lesson to learn. On the whole I consider myself to be pretty self-aware. I can readily admit to my faults, to my habits, my process of doing things. But then sometimes that statement seems pretty damn arrogant. I'm no guru, I don't know all there is to know about myself let alone anything else. I've had teachers that could look right through me and see something I certainly never could. It takes time and alot of practice to grow to that kind of Seeing. But I guess that's the point of life, to try, to grow, to practice. It may take a thousand life-times to get there but eventually I'll 'get it'

It's that day again .. thursday! I haven't been that inspired to blog the last couple of days but I can always talk about music *insert goofy grin here* So for this thursday's installment I present you with ....

Devendra Banhart www.myspace.com/devendrabanhart or http://www.devendrabanhart.com/

Devendra is my favourite musician (well tied with David Crosby). The creativity that flows out of this man completely blows my mind. Holy Crap but I love him. His music is folk/hippie music ... with rock, samba,roots elements all mixed in. Devendra's amazing spirit shines like a beacon right through his music. It always makes me smile. And his stage presence is amazing as well. He is currently on tour and I was lucky enough to get to see him in Toronto. The music hall where the concert was held wouldn't let people dance in the aisles so Devendra invited as many people as would fit up onto the stage to dance. Devendra is my one true 'star' and I got to shake the man's hand that night and boogie my but off on stage. That was one true hippie fest let me tell you. So go have a listen and tell me your thoughts on my own personally god of music.

Oh and I should also mention that he is one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen. please note that neither of these pictures are mine ... all hail the google image search. Haha funniest thing ever ... Charles Manson divided by Orlando Bloom = Devendra Banhart (purely looks-wise people, no nutters here)

I'm of two minds when it comes to 'Technology.' Now on one hand I think inovation is great. Man keeps striving for that next step and if we didn't do that we wouldn't have indoor plumbing or electricity. And I am all for indoor plumbing even if I could live without electricity. I am also seriously addicted to the internet. I would die (figuratively speaking) if I couldn't check facebook or read everybody's blog. The facebook addiction is rather pathetic, it annoys me sometimes but I really do love the stupid thing.

But then on the other hand tech sucks. It seems our entire planet has become ridiculously dependent on it. I often wish I could just move to a cottage in the woods and not deal with it at all. I also have some issues with tech were as it doesn't always work that well for me. For instance I have been known to cause computer crashes, electronic malfunctions, and turn off street lights with my very pressence. It can be highly annoying. Getting into hotel rooms is impossible for me, in fact any key card room is impossible. I used to have to get people to come with me to the computer labs in university so I could get in. So I fully supprt the use of oil lamps and snail mail.

It is very interesting to see the degree to which some people need technology to survive (or so they may think). It makes me wonder what sort of mess we would be in if technology stopped working. There are so many circumstances where that could happen at any time. Its a bit of a scary thought.

This has been one crazy weekend! I've been unbelievably busy. On friday I left the house at 8:20 am and got home at midnight. granted i got to shop after work but that still makes for a very long day. and sat was just as busy. Though M and I did have a really good night; work was still well work. Even though my job is fantastic its still a job and i don't think that there is anyone who can say they've never complained about having to work. I finally got a bookcase for my room and am actually getting close to being organised. I think I might be the least organised person ever. At work I can be completely anal about everything being organised but when I get home it all goes down the drain. I just can't be bothered. And then I start feeling overwhelmed. But now that I have everything organized I can start creating again. And I'm so excited for that! Its hard to feel good when the creative juices just aren't flowing. Maybe there is something to Feng Shui after all. I don't know what I'll do tomorrow before I have to work at 5:30 but I fell like I have so many options now. No more laying in bed to try and ignore the physical and mental clutter. Tomorrow looks bright, even if it is rainy outside.

Well as I'm sure I've mentioned before I can't spend a day without music. It's too much a part of me to ever be missing. So from now on, on thursdays (arbitrarily picked because well today is thursday) I will tell you a bit about a band/musician that I love and that you should all feel obliged to check out :D So for my first Thrilling Thursday Music-a-thon I have the pleasure to present to you .... drum roll please (I'm feeling overly dramatic today) .....

Jeff Zentner www.myspace.com/jeffzentner

He's a bit Americana/Indie/Blues/Country aka awesome. His music holds a bit of my soul and articulates it in a way that my meagre words never could. It's so hard to explain. All music seems to hold a piece of me and when you look at all the bits you can see who I am. Jeff's music holds a piece that lately I've been trying to cultivate and bring more to the foreground. It's been a bit too much Scissor Sisters lately. I need to chill. On a front porch in Tennesse. with a cold beer(it would be whisky, it fits better, but i just can't drink the stuff). watching the fireflies flicker in a field of tall grass. making crispy apple pies and cider. mmm.

I love House. It's such an awesome show. I admit that I'm a bit of an addict. And c'mon how cool is Hugh Laurie? He was so funny in Black Adder. But anyway, back to the point. A lot of tonight's episode circled around life after death. And it got me to thinking about all of that jazz. There are so many viewpoints out there. And I really try not to judge and think that maybe everybody is right. What you believe in is what happens to you when you die. That would make sense and is the most politically correct, all encompassing view. But what if that isn't it. What if one group is right and the rest of us aren't? I hate to be mean but I'd be really disappointed if the Christians are right. Mostly because that probably means I'd go to hell. And I very much dislike the idea of hell in general let alone having to go there. I would be seriously upset if there was no reincarnation, no uniting with Brahman for me.

When people have near death experiences they all seem to see different things. Now is that because we all do actually go where our personal beliefs take us? Or is it because there is A) no life after death or B) because there is only one after death; and the people who have these 'near death experiences' aren't actually almost dying so they see what they want to see or what 'god' wants them to see? Ay, dios mia! But there are far too many options and scenarios. And really no way to know. That's why they call it faith i suppose. I try to have faith but sometimes I find it very frustrating. I like science and frankly I want proof. And since that is impossible I'm stuck with faith. It's all rather complicated and annoying really. Well only annoying because I can't get my way. But most of life is like that. It's what makes it worth while. The struggles and the questioning ... it would be boring without all of that.

"God grant me the patience to accept the things I cannot change"

One thing I love about october ... Thanksgiving! And it was the perfect day for it today. We spent the day at the Perth Autumn Studio Tour. Perth is a rural town about an hour away from Ottawa. There were potters, painters, glass artists, photographers, knitters. Most of the studios were in barns or outbuildings.

I purchased a handle-less mug from a wonderfully whimsical potter. Though the piece I selected was of her most 'demure' collection. Her work was generally very colourful and organic in feel.

I also picked up a gorgeous blue glass ॐ pendant. I might even be able to take glass blowing lessons from the artist. I've always wanted to learn glass blowing. That and pottery but every class I've ever signed up for gets canceled. One day! She has some pretty great stuff so I'm looking forward to learning from her.

The day was much enjoyed. It has got me in quite the creative mood. Over the next week I think I'll be able to get back into my carving and jewelry making. And that is long over due.

We had our turkey dinner tonight. When we got home we discovered that our smoke alarm had been going for over 4 hours! Many of our neighbours tried to break into the house but figured as they didn't see any smoke it was just the turkey. Which of course it was. I felt do bad for disturbing them all and the poor dog's ears! But after that the dinner went nicely. Some spilt wine but what fancy meal is complete without that? And it was only a Zinfandel so no stains! yay! Ahh what a day! But I must say that over all I'm feeling much more ... put together ... over the past few days. Life is looking good!

All my life I've struggled with not being perfect. If I look deep down that is my greatest desire: to be perfect. And my greatest fear is to not be perfect. So you can imagine the overactive guilt complex I've developed. While being a ballet dancer from the age of 4 has definitely given me unimaginable gifts it has also made me strive to be perfect in everything I do. Which is impossible and I would be one of the first people to tell you that. That's what I teach my students; to be compassionate and non-judgemental towards themselves and accept where they are each day. And yet I am completely unable to practice what I preach. Which adds yet another layer of guilt. This all leads me to wonder what makes so many of us be afraid to be 'perfect'? what is perfection for crying out loud? Everything is subjective so how can we possibly deam anything we do as imperfect? I'm still trying to make myself believe that I am perfect no matter what. And I believe it intellectually but emotionally? that's a whole other story.

Some days start off badly and well really just don't improve. Even with heavy doses of Jane Austen and tea. Two of my personnal favourite addictions. I woke with a migraine. Got in shit for not calling work while I was unable to move because my brain was about to explode out through my eye sockets. And well the day did get better but it certainly wasn't a good day. I think i've become slightly immune to my anti-anxiety meds. If that's even possible so it was not a fun-filled day. I really need to try harder to not sleep 12+ hours a night, and start getting back my ayurvedic diet, and do my daily practice. I'm so not good at daily life. But if you need me to plan something for 10 years in the future I'm your gal. Which doesn't really help anybody much. Maybe tomorrow will start a new pattern along with a new day ... we can always hope.

It's finally october! yipee :D I love fall. It's getting colder. The sweaters have come out of storage. My Great-Nanny's rather tattered quilt has gone on the bed. The Indian corn has been hung. Gourds have been purchased. Tomorrow some Habitant pea soup will be consumed. Now all that's needed is some new chunky-knit socks and some pumpkin pie. Oh maybe i'll get that pumpkin muffin from starbucks ... mmm I'm liking this idea. Gosh darn it but I do love fall.

I always seem to be listening to Devendra Banhart when I'm online. Which is just fine by me. Well date two (yesterday) went smashingly. The movie was surprisingly good. Russel Crowe makes a good, not to mention very attractive, cowboy. The date was even extended to include food and plans for next weekend. Which frankly is an excellent sign. He is rather shy though. Two fairly long dates and not a single kiss. Unless you include a peck on the cheek, which I don't. I'm fully okay with this, makes for a bit of a nice change. Respect seems to be increasingly hard to come by.

Today was amazingly calm and relaxing. Always nice on my one day off a week. Walked the dog at the dog park. He did so well, he even played with some other dogs! Considering he's a rescue, is really tiny (a dachshund), and is not fully mobile because he was paralysed last year this is a huge step. I'm so proud *insert goofy grin hear*.

Bhavana

That's what I'm listening to. Sealion by Feist. It's so catchy, it makes me bob. yes that's right bob. I love to dance! And I just now discovered I can dance and type at them same time. woo hoo! This is seriously the most exciting part of my day. music. though L did bring pictures of the tiny little italian island he worked at this summer. Apparently thai yoga massage is pretty lucrative. Which is slightly annoying because yoga alone isn't really. but that's another story. I'm talking about my boring day at work. Even with two massage therapists away we were far from busy. But we did have a slightly crazy man come in to try to rent space from us for his 'detox footbaths' um ... no thanks, that's okay. It was pretty funny though.

On another note, tomorrow is date #2 with M the personal trainer. We're seeing a movie, 3:10 to Yuma to be exact. I know it's not exactly a date movie but it was either that or Resident Evil. oy. Thank-goodness for darkened theatres, this way I don't have to wear too much make-up. My face decided it hates me and picked now to explode in zits. You'd think I'd have gotten past that point by now. *sigh* Plus it's right after work. woot woot. more about that tomorrow :D

Perhaps its the rain, or the time of night, or the changes in my life but whatever the cause I'm starting a blog. Something always seemed a little odd and not just a little voyeuristic. But I think there is some intrinsic value to blogs, perhaps some self-knowledge or worldly knowledge will be gained. I suppose I should start off by introducing myself as the point of blogs is that they are read by others.
Well here it goes. I'm just your typical twenty-year old, searching for meaning in life. I'm a yoga teacher and 'client care administrator' aka receptionist at a fantastic massage & yoga clinic. I couldn't love my job more. I had the amazing luck of studying yoga under world renowned yoga teachers Yogi Vishvketu and Chetana Panwar. Who are probably in India as I type enjoying the hot weather as I listen to the fall rain. I am so lucky to have found my rightful path in life and that is yoga. I guess you could say I'm a study in contradictions. Mixing my Scottish heritage with my love for India makes for quite the interesting life and beliefs to be sure. I suppose that that will be all for my very first post. Y'all got the important 'this is me' stuff anyway.